[♪ theme music ♪] >> stephanie: hello tv land. happy friday. jacki, i'm a girl explain about the new unemployment numbers. [♪ "world news tonight" theme ♪] >> the jobs report for october looks pretty good. 171,000 jobs were added last month. and that's more than analysts anticipated. but the unemployment ticked up to 7.9%. it is still under 8% and according to the "washington post," it says more people

started looking for work, so that's why the number went up the government only counts people as unemployed if they are actively searching. >> stephanie: that's right. >> this jobs report is all good too. they revised the numbers from august to september, and we added 84,000 nor jobs than expected. >> yay! rush limbaugh says chris christie is fat. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: okay. here is jacki schechner with the news. >> as we're going to wait for official reaction we get a statement from the white house and then we'll hear the president speak. both mitt romney and obama, he is going to start in ohio today, and spending the day in ohio. romney will go to wisconsin first and then head to ohio.

he'll be getting a lot of love over the weekend. what is interesting is both candidates have op-eds appearing on cnn.com today. mitt romney's a very routine, it seems to reiterate all of the same stuff. that he will create 12 million new jobs -- 12 million jobs will be created anyway. more of the same. and he has now taken on the idea that he is going to create real change. i can't believe it's not change. he has got real change compared to the president's change. >> stephanie: i thought he was going to call it of course i never said detroit should go bankrupt. >> sure. the president starts out by

talking about how we have come together as a nation after this hurricane, and how we have to continue to where we were before. we'll be right back. day. besides, you can always dvr my show. you really cant' dvr the future of the country. to help you make informed decisions, watch current tv's politically direct lineup. only on current tv. so vote and vote smart.

[♪ theme music ♪] >> announcer: ladies and gentlemen, it's the "stephanie miller show"! ♪ i'm walking on sunshine woe ho ♪ ♪ i'm walking on sunshine woe ho ♪ ♪ it's time to feel good ♪ ♪ hey all right now ♪ ♪ it's time to feel good ♪ >> stephanie: yahoo! happy friday everybody. six minutes after the hour. 1-800-steph-1-2 the phone number toll free from anywhere. stephaniemiller.com, check it out. you can email us all there, chris lavoie, jim ward, or me stephanie miller. all right. we have a big friday show coming up. >> oh, yeah. >> aisha tyler joining us in just a few minutes to remind us

why the president feels like cookies and freedom. >> or as one person called him bronco obama. >> stephanie: will this election never end. ah! [ baby crying ] >> stephanie: and we have actress kate walsh coming up from "gray's anatomy." >> and "private practice." >> stephanie: once again we have the hottest surrogates. >> uh-huh. >> stephanie: as jacki reported -- don't have the numbers in front of me. >> 1 # 1,000. >> stephanie: oh, dream girl. oh lord -- >> i'm going to kind drive her. >> stephanie: excellent. [♪ "world news tonight" theme ♪] >> stephanie: the obama campaign reminds us stop looking at cats

online and go vote. >> have you seen the watermelon kitty, no kitty, don't eat the rind. he is just seating a watermelon. [ laughter ] >> maybe the cat needed some fiber. >> stephanie: yes. go vote for god's sake. some helpful hints. >> okay. oh, there's a twitter feed of mitt's storm feeds that is very funny. >> stephanie: if your home is in the path of sandy, evacuate to your second or third home immediately. make sure you move your cars to the top of the garage. sandy is so violent because she was raised by a single mother.

my prayers go out to 53% of you the other 47% i could careless about. if you survive i'll take care of it. everyone chill out sandy will end earlier than expected. she has dinner to get on the table. don't be a victim stop looking for handouts. moochers. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: i was saying -- i was reading the l.a. time's story about the storm damage and i thought it was a joke rush limbaugh says chris christie is fat. [♪ circus music ♪] [ laughter ] >> funny how they turn on one of their own when one of their own

actually starts cooperating. >> and lloyd [ inaudible ] is actually bald. >> stephanie: what? >> never mind. >> stephanie: thank you. would you like some fun facts -- [♪ fun-facts music ♪] >> stephanie: this is the point of fema when it operates properly when something of this magnitude happens. this is exactly why, mitt you can't privatize fema or second things back to the state. steven colbert said who better to take care of it than the state who's infrastructure has just drifted out to sea. the deployment of national guards included 100 blackhawk helicopters, 573 vehicles, 40 humvees are on the way. >> that sounds like big government to me. >> stephanie: exactly. >> because the state of new jersey just had those lying around. >> sure.

>> stephanie: thank you, and what would be even better privatize it. >> yeah. what private company has a blackhawk helicopter? >> stephanie: yeah, after they determine what their profit is going to be. >> there are some entities that are big enough to handle events like this. pretty much the only one is the federal government. >> you can't handle the crisis! >> stephanie: but wait there's more. 500 workers arrived to provide emergency medical care nearly 2,000 utility workers own their way from as far as california and texas. obama offered additional military assistance including a navy ship. >> yeah, new jersey had one of those. >> we have enough of those.

>> stephanie: and transport planes, and he had a 15-minute rule, meaning every call to the white house by a mayor or firefighter would be returned within 15 minutes. >> stephanie: compare that with mitt romney when he was out of town and nobody could find him. again, you can't respond that quickly just -- >> nope. >> stephanie: you know. okay. and i'm trying -- i couldn't reach roland this morning did i hear that power may be back on today or tomorrow. >> yeah, in manhattan. they are having a lot of problems with statton island. but it has just beening kind of wiped out. >> stephanie: yeah. the president said we are here

for you. we will not forget. that's what george bush said in the plane flying over katrina. >> there's a lot of water down there. >> stephanie: there's no small amount of rumbling on the right. some republicans labeled him judas christie and rush limbaugh called the governor -- wait for it -- fat. [♪ circus music ♪] >> and accused him of being addicted to oxycontin. >> we have some other comments come up in the right-wing world about chris christie. >> stephanie: really? here is [ inaudible ] with -- >> the guy who's numbers are too

gay -- >> stephanie: yeah. seven polls released in ohio obama plus two, obama plus three, obama plus five hashtag not that complicated. he write ts now watch in frustration, only a single romney-leading poll probably from rasmussen. apparently the pollsters are all effeminate pollsters too. please stop letting facts get in the way of the gop narrative. >> for a numbers guy he has an awesome sense of humor. >> stephanie: yeah. [♪ "world news tonight" theme ♪] >> stephanie: after brutal polling day, romney team reassures they are going to win. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: not included on their list of romney advantages

is being ahead in the polls. >> yeah. >> stephanie: romney's pollster said obama has are political environment problem, he has an intensity problem, image problem, and a ballot problem, and it will all add up to a chal edging tuesday next week. >> what is he talking about exactly. >> obama has an image problem? this from the romney camp. >> stephanie: right. new surveys in which obama held a solid lead in ohio, eight point lead in wisconsin, but romney aids insisted things are on the right track. >> of course she didn't. of course we are. of course we are on the right wrack. >> stephanie: we feel we are in a very good place and this race is exactly where we wanted to

be. and their political director said right now their firewalls are burning. >> firewalls don't burn they prevent burning from getting through. >> i assumed there was a wall of fire. [ mocking laughter ] >> oh, my god. >> stephanie: there has been little movement since his first debate surge. several pollsters are suggesting that mitt romney is claiming the polls are wrong across the board. i imagine mitt romney -- is he still collecting unneeded canned goods at this point? that the red cross -- not

specifically we don't need that please don't send that. >> yeah. ♪ there are all kinds of goods, canned goods, vacuum packed on your grocery's shelve ♪ ♪ in the value of the giant douche bag ♪ [ laughter ] >> stephanie: back with sexy liberal aisha tyler next on the "stephanie miller show." >> announcer: highbrow lowbrow, unibrow. show." ♪ ♪ ♪

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>> announcer: stephanie miller. ♪ >> stephanie: it is the "stephanie miller show." welcome to it. twenty-one opinions after the hour. here she is, sexy liberal aisha tyler to remind us what the president smells like. >> cookies and freedom my friends. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: i have already said one thing that aisha tyler says attempt sexy liberal show ends up on t-shirts everywhere. because you have in fact met the president in person and he smells like -- >> yes, cookies and freedom. cookies out of the oven and that strong smart whiff of freedom that we love.

>> stephanie: you know how many emails i have gotten since our show saturday at the beacon with the subject line cookies and freedom bitches. [ laughter ] >> that was such a fun show. it was an amazing night. >> stephanie: oh, honey, you just rocked it. >> we all did. >> stephanie: you are an official obama surrogate. we have the hottest surrogates. and you are in ohio. >> i'm headed to ohio. i'm up early getting it together to head to ohio now, but because this is the final push obviously, so we're just cranking for the president and making sure everybody is -- i have been speaking a lot over the last -- i guess maybe eight weeks in different locations to people that it's not enough we are doing well in some of the polls, it's important that people go to the polls, and it's important that the people who

said they are going to vote for the president actually do vote for the president. and make sure people are getting out there, andest specially on the east coast, we barely made it out of new york. >> stephanie: exactly. >> yeah. >> stephanie: straight from new york. >> it was literally an escape from new york. >> stephanie: in fact hal sparks did not make it out. >> yeah, people are still trapped there, and i was complaining and whining to you guys. i was like i have to be up in three hours. and i went to bed at 1:30 and the car game at 4:00. do i didn't sleep i just kind of blinked. >> stephanie: but as you explained to me the reason you take such an early flight out, because you and your husband have a new agreement.

>> yes that we spend every sunday together and i behave like a wife for the first time in my life. >> stephanie: how has that been going? >> it has been good. i'm an actor, so i can act like a wife. [ laughter ] >> by it has been so exciting and to see how much enthusiasm there it for the president out there, we can get so caught up in the polls -- >> stephanie: and nate silver in his big gay numbers -- [ laughter ] >> they are very fancy numbers they sparkle are glitter. but when you see the enthusiasm and passion for the president, there's a real ground swell out there. i think it as focused and passionate as it was in 2008.

i'm trying to get out there and communicate that the president is going to be having at it with the next four years with as many teaspoons he can possibly hold in both hands. >> stephanie: exactly. i was watching him yesterday with chris christie -- >> oh it was incredible >> stephanie: it was literally there were no red states and blue states. >> he has always been right about that. that has always been to me such a basic principal of his presidency, is he wants to do his job of being president, and implement the plans he had when he was elected. and that politics has constantly gotten away with this kind of [ inaudible ] blocking you know, strategy that the other side has taken, which is we don't care about moving the

country forward, we just care about being right. and when you have a president that has repeatedly gone back to the other side let's get this done. and they are like we liked it before, but now that you have it, we don't like it anymore. it has been so immature and destructive, so it's sad it took something like this storm to be reminded what kind of a president barack obama is. and then when chris christie chris christie stepped up and said he hah been incredible -- >> stephanie: yeah and the bloomberg endorsement. by the way hold your calls the word of the day is evuskatory. [ bell chimes ] >> how about obstructionist? [ bell chimes ]

>> stephanie: okay. i think it's interesting, you can't help obviously things are political because we're a few days out from the election but you are absolutely right. when you look at those polls 80% of the american people agree with chris christie think that the president has done a fantastic job. bob o'donnell, isn't it weird we're back in this type of partisanship -- >> of course we're not. [ laughter ] >> but i do also think it's at moments like this, when you really see the metal of the president. and when you see the difference between this president and the last president, you really see what type of president barack obama is. when you have a president that was confused blind, and late to respond, and even in his most intense response mode bush was

lackadaisical and confused. and then you have this president who dropped everything to make sure people had the help they need. i think the vision can be clouded by politics and by every day workman like aspects. this is someone who cares about the american people, who cares about making sure their lives are better and is absolutely focused on making sure he does the best job he can. >> to bush's credit. he did roll up his sleeves. >> stephanie: yeah. >> he did do a fly over. >> stephanie: yeah sexy liberal aisha tyler you rock my world and the free world. >> it's a joy to know you and come on your show and use big words. >> stephanie: absolutely. i love you. >> i love you guys. [ applause ] >> stephanie: right back on the "stephanie miller show." ♪

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>> stephanie: how awesome was that hearing from her on the road. she is one of the people getting it done ladies and gentlemen! [ bell chimes ] [ applause ] >> stephanie: today, brought to you by granger. i recognize that voice, these when i'm coming home from her on the plane from sexy liberal, and she is like don't talk to me. i have had an hour of sleep. >> i don't know how she does it. >> stephanie: roland i was

officially worried about him. he says cell service has actually gotten worse. i'm not getting help until sunday. because of this [ censor bleep ] marathon, i'm being kicked off of the hotel. he is not a good emergency person, he panicked and went to a gourmet food store before the storm, and i'm like duck fat you don't even cook what do you need that for? >> you don't eat duck fat you cook with it. >> stephanie: he doesn't cook. he lives in manhattan. >> bless his heart. [♪ magic wand ♪] >> so why is this marathon still going on? >> stephanie: i don't know. >> that seems like it is diverting a lot of resources --

>> stephanie: to prove because the terrorists win if you don't run entirely too far -- >> can we postpone it for a week? [♪ magic wand ♪] >> stephanie: i know. roleland ran the marathon who years ago, and broke his foot in the middle of it, and he finished. >> our runner over year jacki schechner -- >> yes. >> i'm determined but that is a lot of adrenalin. >> yeah, and a lot of sauvignon blanc. >> stephanie: and then he ended up breaking it in like eight places. and i'm like -- ♪ you are an idiot ♪ >> you broke your foot and you were out of commission for like six months.

>> i don't know that drink wine is good while running a marathon. >> stephanie: it is not that important if you shatter something. >> but it is something that you have been training for a long period of time. >> stephanie: rowland is like samuel jackson. he is like a sparrow, he is very fragile. >> and yet you keep taking him on these extreme bike trails? >> stephanie: i'm trying to toughen him up. >> or destroy him. >> maybe he needs more calcium. >> he is like a sparrow, he breaks bones all the time, yet he is going into mad max mode? listen, he is trying to butch it up. good morning. >> caller: good morning, guys. you looked great in that brown skirt in the predebate show.

>> oh thank you. we'll be doing an election special on tuesday. >> caller: never lose the brown skirt. this is very puzzling that planned parenthood and [ inaudible ] are staying neutral in the wayne powell race. >> stephanie: huh? >> caller: does that make any sense to you guys? >> stephanie: no. >> caller: how could they not be with wayne? >> stephanie: actually we'll get you an answer because we can shoot julie an email. >> yeah. >> stephanie: i have no clue. and i don't know if that's true but let's find out. >> okay. >> stephanie: let's go to jim in nashville, tennessee. welcome. contract hey, you became my momma, i voted yesterday. it was the last day for early voting in nashville. >> stephanie: hurray. >> caller: kind of all right. i went there as a republican signed into a republican and

when i got to the voting booth, i turned into a republican't. and i want to thank you and all of the callers that say the truth on this show, and made me think. i'm old, retired, and when i got there, i started seeing names on your show with people i disagree with . and i couldn't do it. and can i say one thing? >> stephanie: yes. >> caller: hi jacki. >> oh, hi. [♪ magic wand ♪] >> stephanie: i think it's because of jacki. >> caller: i tell you what she has got the power. >> stephanie: jacki has saved the republic! >> yay! [ applause ] >> stephanie: as many men out this listening that want to

impress jacki -- >> vote democrat. i don't date republicans. >> obamacare gets her hot too. >> it gets me heated. >> stephanie: we have been talking about how these right-wingers mitt romney is doing this talking point about you won't be able to get a doctor, because they don't take anybody that has medicare now. >> yeah npr did a little blip on this today, which i thought was very good. romney is talking about how you can't get a doctor because -- >> stephanie: human being turn into republican talking points at election. my mom can't get a doctor -- >> that's complete and total bull [ censor bleep ]. >> what it has to do with is what is called the doc fix, that goes back to 1997 and basically in trying to control the medicare costs the idea was to bring down cost of doctors

overall, but it's a fix that medicare hasn't been able to remedy so they have been doing it peace meal. it is making doctors upset. it did not get fixed through healthcare reform because it was too expensive. >> stephanie: right. >> and there are parts of health care reform that pay medicare doctors more. so there's actually provisions within the health care law that will pay primary care physicians more money. >> stephanie: right. that's what i'm saying people want to blame obama for everything. it becomes a punch line. >> and if you tell them it is untrue, they say no, no no no. and go on. >> stephanie: yes. [♪ "world news tonight" theme ♪] >> stephanie: mitt romney took his claim that president obama

has stolen $716 million from medicare, do the next level, seniors mostly likely will be unable to see specialists because of obamacare. >> did you see the one too i think in virginia where he say there was a barbecue place that went out of business and blamed it on obama. and it turns out they had a lot of health care violations -- >> they were washing their hands in poop. >> yeah. and he is attacking gas prices there are videos in the kiosks so it's really throw anything at the wall and see what sticks -- >> that smacks of desperation. >> it does. >> stephanie: on the doctor front, as we know mitt romney's staff has said they are not going toet let their campaign be

dictated by fact checkers. he said i happen to believe the choice you make on november 6th will have enormous effects on scene yours, when you make a call to a specialist the receptionist will most likely say we're not taking any more medicare patients. a "washington post" fact check examined the claim and sound that spending does not decrease year after year. the savings are mostly wrung there health care providers not medicare beneficiaries. >> in other words death panels. >> stephanie: yeah. >> no! [ wah wah ] >> stephanie: okay. all right. yikes. >> the big lie theory. >> stephanie: it's like he is using his debate technique.

it's like the tennis ball machine of lies at the end. >> it turns out to 11. >> it'ses the lillian gish gallop. >> yes, that's it. because she was known for her barrage of lies. >> stephanie: alan in texas you are on the "stephanie miller show." >> caller: good morning. >> stephanie: hi, go ahead. >> caller: i was wondering since romney is taking every side of every position, if he is elected he would be able to keep all of his promises and then not be able to keep all of his promises, does that make him an oxymoron or an [ inaudible ]. [ applause ] >> stephanie: very good. katherine in pennsylvania welcome. >> caller: yes hello i am a

first time caller and i wanted to make a comment no republican talks about privatizing fema now. i just wanted to say that my governor, governor corbett promised not to have cars and both him and his wife have suvs while he expects people at $8.50 an hour to get to work on their own. my mentally handicapped sister has been waiting for a program over five years, and he has taken funds from that so she can't even get into a program which would structure her. he is not catering to the handicapped be taking funds away. and it's sad. >> stephanie: absolutely. mitt romney is out there talking about bipartisanship, which obviously his case is not very good at this point.

the president is like a walking/talking example. >> uh-huh. >> stephanie: romney only called the republican governors of the states effected. >> and that tells you how he would govern -- >> stephanie: thank you. forty-five minutes after the hour. right back on the "stephanie miller show." >> can you absolutely positively guarantee that it will give me an orgasm? >> yeah. announce it's the "stephanie miller show."

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road. go to thelastopenroad.com. [ applause ] >> stephanie: fifty minutes after the hour -- >> oh, thank you for the spontaneous applause. >> stephanie: yes. thank you. 1-800-steph-1-2. i love this headline. did chris christie destroy the bipartisanship. >> little bit. >> stephanie: it's a myth that he governed in this bipartisan way. there was, what, something like 800 vetoes. i love this one, the tail of two tarmacs. there was of course the moment with how you can tell how authentic it was between chris christie and the president.

♪ bone finger must think that they are so cool ♪ ♪ she passed high school ♪ >> stephanie: liz in michigan you are on the "stephanie miller show." hi, liz. >> caller: hi stephanie, how are you? >> stephanie: good go ahead. >> caller: bob king was on last night, and their legal department found that mitt romney violated government ethics law. >> stephanie: i did this story yesterday. >> caller: wonderful. they are seeking an investigation, but he did not disclose that he had a conflict of interest, and they bought stock in delfy at $0.67 a share, and isn't that something? ann romney invested $1 million in this. they got a 4000% return and they held gm hostage for the

part, and extorted gm for the parts. that would be on the 2009 tax return. >> stephanie: right. >> caller: and the reasoning that bob king investigated in this is because of the ads that mitt romney is running. he said they are hurting the brand image of these companies and usually auto makers and whatever, they refrain from anything political. >> stephanie: that's right. >> caller: but because of this going on, they threw their hat in the ring, so all he is doing is hurting himself. >> stephanie: yeah, and this charity loophole -- i'm not sure which is the bigger story, liz. have you heard that one? >> >> caller: no, i haven't. >> stephanie: this loophole that he's using. remember he said oh what he gave to charity -- anyway. i'll find the details.

i'm just talking in circles now -- >> you are drunk. >> and 09 was also the year that there was amnesty for people with swiss bank accounts. >> stephanie: and george bush is speaking in the kaymen islands this weekend. where bill clinton can be on the campaign trial for president obama -- [♪ "world news tonight" theme ♪] >> stephanie: the president said i know what change looks like after all we have been through, we sure as heck give up now. he said every time we have tried to make change they fought back with everything they have got. their strategy from the start was to engineer pure gridlock in congress. you know what i was thinking people call him like he's a slick used car sales. he is a used idea salesman. [ applause ] >> stephanie: i wrote that last night when i was drunk and i

thought it was brilliant. >> you don't need to look at the odometer, of course you don't. >> stephanie: he said we know what change looks like and what the governor is offering sure isn't change. he said what i was saying magically we brought it full circle -- [♪ magic wand ♪] >> stephanie: there are no democrats or republicans during a storm, just fellow americans. right? hum. >> obama: when disaster strikes we see america at its best. no democrats or republicans during a storm, just fellow americans. [ cheers and applause ] [ applause ] >> stephanie: carol in pennsylvania. hi carol. >> caller: hi, how are you? >> stephanie: good, go ahead. >> caller: i wanted to compliment you and your team and

travis who answers the phone -- >> stephanie: he is also one of the team -- >> caller: for being one of the best surrogates out there for the president. >> stephanie: ah. >> caller: and also wouldn't it have been a different four years had we had cooperation with the congress, the republicans -- >> stephanie: carol i have been saying this over and over again i hope what i have been say willing be true, not just that the president is reelected but also a lot of the tea partiers are in trouble. >> caller: we all can't wait to see them go. >> stephanie: it couldn't happen to a nicer jerk in joe walsh's case. >> caller: oh, yeah, he is the worst. >> stephanie: i'm sorry, go ahead. >> caller: i just regret the last four years what they have done to the country and people need to wake up. >> stephanie: yep.

all right. wake up. >> wake up people. >> stephanie: samuel jackson says wake the [ censor bleep ] up. the president on the campaign trial. >> obama: this nation cannot succeed without a thriving growing middle class. >> stephanie: see right there he has been applying since kindergarten. >> obama: on the closing weeks of this campaign governor romney has been using all of his talents as a salesman to dress up these very same policies that failed our countries so badly. the very same policies we have been cleaning up for the last four years. and he is offering them up at change. >> stephanie: exactly. and bloomberg that's huge his endorsement of the president. michael in new york. hey, michael? >> caller: hey, there sexy

liberal momma. >> caller: how are you doing honey, you got power? >> caller: yeah i never lost it. but my heart and prayers are out to the others that did lost it. great show at the sexy liberal, and why the marathon is still going on. >> stephanie: why is that? >> caller: because bloomberg is absolutely insane in the membrane. and then let me mention something about the distance between obama and romney. obama has been responding to all of those affected by sandy. and chris christie has been singing nothing but praises for president obama. >> stephanie: that's right. right back on the "stephanie miller show."

[♪ theme music ♪] >> stephanie: it's hot actress obama surrogate today. we just talked to aisha tyler, and we're going to talk to kate walsh coming up in just a little bit. jacki schechner a hot stephanie miller surrogate. i think this bloomberg thing is a big deal on top of colin powell. >> yes, and as romney was talking about the importance of being in business howard schultz of starbucks came out and endorsed president obama as well. >> stephanie: oh, dear mittens

is not happy. [ wah wah ] >> stephanie: and obama way ahead in the 7-11 coffee cup. >> stephanie: just call off the elections now. >> stephanie: i'm just saying it's not as accurates a nate silver's big gay numbers, but they are pretty accurate. all right. here is jacki schechner with the latest news. >> let's do some news. as we have been talking about now it's all coming down to getting out the vote. and the six-floor museum in dallas has put out an old public service announcement from president john f. kennedy, in which he is encouraging all citizens to vote. >> there is one way in which we can show how strongly we believe in our democracy, next tuesday, november 6th is election day. i hope every american will turn out and vote.

>> the film was put together on october 31st, 1962. president kennedy was calling on all americans to serve their country by participating. it's a very cool piece of history, but all six elections held on november 6th were won by republicans, starting with lincoln, and reagan let's hope the 7 breaks the street. actor edward norton has teamed to release a short video on line. it's all real people talk about what is motivating them to vote. >> we need our political system and the strength of our democracy to ensure that ultimately it is we the people that govern, and not the money that governs our policies. >> he said he discovered through the project what we have all

been noticing of what the polls are truly a measure of what people are thinking. you. to help you make informed decisions, watch current tv's politically direct lineup. only on current tv. take the time to learn about the issues. don't just vote, vote smart.

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[♪ theme music ♪] >> announcer: ladies and gentlemen, it's the "stephanie miller show"! ♪ i'm walking on sunshine woe ho ♪ ♪ i'm walking on sunshine woe ho ♪ ♪ it's time to feel good ♪ ♪ hey all right now ♪ ♪ it's time to feel good ♪ >> and the "stephanie miller show" is brought to you in part by our friend burt levy the author of the last open road. go to thelastopenroad.com. >> stephanie: yay. jacki was doing the story about

the jfk urging people to get out to vote. late super pac ad urges african american people to vote republican because lincoln freed the slaves. one super pac calling on african-americans to vote against president obama because lincoln freed the slaves. [ bell chimes ] [ applause ] >> uh-huh. >> stephanie: it's a super pac called empower citizens network. one of the groups accuses obama and the democrats on imploding the country by encouraging lenders to pray on buyers.

while the soviet national anthem plays in the background it says that republican can save your money source by reducing regulations on business. [ buzzer ] >> stephanie: and mitt romney's official campaign -- [♪ "world news tonight" theme ♪] >> stephanie: there is really not much difference. mitt romney compared obama to chavezes and castro. >> yeah. >> stephanie: he is running a spanish ad in florida claiming that fidel castro's niece would support president obama. mitt romney gives chavez the news he desires but has no right

to. >> he is just like castro! >> stephanie: smells like desperation. [ applause ] >> did you have to stretch your groin before that -- >> stephanie: yikes. >> i don't think that's an actual phrase in spanish. >> stephanie: it came from you. >> i know. god we said that in high school. >> stephanie: speaking of you, you are an official stephanie miller surrogate. and you will be representing me. >> i will at the palm springs pride festival at the booth of our fine affiliate, kptr and you will be meeting people. so if you are there come out and see me. >> stephanie: get it. what am i the president? i need surrogates? i can't go on the road anymore. >> not surrogates in the helen hunt -- >> stephanie: my surrogates are hot too.

look at him. flex. good boy. atlas drugged, it's a world where romney and ryan's plans to privatize government becomes a reality. stephan goldstein, the author joins us now. hi, stephen. >> good to talk to you. i finished the manuscript about a year ago, and the words i put into the mouth of the people who were -- that is the fictional governor of florida, and the fictional president of the united states after in my book a devastating storm strikes florida -- >> stephanie: yeah. are you psychic, stephen, come on? >> caller: i am. remember on friends daphne moon says i'm psychic well what

happens is florida is destroyed, but in my book things have gotten so bad that is why atlas is drugged -- people have drugged on the notion of free world, it's the corporate states of america and everything is privatized. >> stephanie: there are no more government agencies the national hurricane center has been privatized and because they couldn't make a profit it shut down and no one could follow the hurricane. >> yeah. >> stephanie: this was -- stephen colbert made the comment who better to respond than the state who's

infrastructure has just been washed out to sea. >> yeah that idea several years ago when rick santorum was in the senate he proposed legislation that would have prohibited the national hurricane center from providing any information to the public that his for-profit entity could have made possible. meaning if you were poor and couldn't afford a 900 line, then who gives a you know what if you were blown away. and when i heard his words i said to myself it's my book. >> stephanie: yeah, when you see that clip from the primaries saying any time you can send something back to the states good. and if you can privatize it better. >> yeah, there's a word for it,

i don't think it's in the official guide to neuroses but it's called mish-a-gas. >> stephanie: i know what you are saying. >> the [ inaudible ]. but in the meantime the interesting thing is how many people including paul ryan, and of course, romney and others have fallen for this crap. >> stephanie: yeah, stephen we were saying earlier in the show it really bogles the mine go wait a minute, you are going to figure out how to try to make a profit off of people in the middle of an emergency and tragedy when it is time sensitive. really? >> yeah. yeah. and in my book the interesting thing is, i make my -- the victims of my -- of my fictional hurricane, the rich -- the especially rich, this hurricane that i have fantasized goes up

the coast of florida on both sides, and typically go after the most expensive properties, so they discover the rich are in this too so even if you have money, you can't get it to people. >> stephanie: yeah. and how -- on top of -- you know, take any subject -- but how egregious is it that mitt romney's response is of course several days later, he won't answer the question, and then his response, of course i would fund fema. >> well that's part of neurosis and people will listen to that and let him get away with it and some people will actually vote for him, and then -- god forbid he is elected, but just imagine the flip side. in massachusetts there was this

tainted vaccine because there was no oversight, that's also what happens at the beginning of my book. they are celebrating the fact that there is more fda. so it isn't just the hurricane center it is all of the firewall that has been created between government and things that are bad for people. >> stephanie: we just did that story yesterday this meningitis outbreak came from a company that mitt romney did not regulate when he was governor of massachusetts. >> exactly. and mitt romney was asked what do you have to replace obamacare? oh, he said it's the market. the market will take care of itself, meaning somebody dies maimed, disadvantages, then the word will get out and you won't do it anymore. >> stephanie: but they are not going to vote for mitt romney you know why? because they are going to take

my weekend reading tip and buy "atlas drugged." >> and it's on kindle too, so if people can't get it immediately, they can get it on kindle like instantly. if enough people read this book nobody would touch mitt romney. >> stephanie: everyone is going to read this book this weekend. [♪ mysterious music ♪] >> and we have links it to at stephaniemiller.com and on your facebook page. >> stephanie: thank you stephen. >> thank you. >> stephanie: you are trying to outword aisha tyler. ubcatory. that is the word of the day.

>> stephanie: it would be counter intuitive. [ buzzer ] >> stephanie: no. >> no. >> stephanie: we have been talking about michael bloomberg this is huge -- >> huge! >> stephanie: he has endorsed president obama. ♪ let's hear it for the boy ♪ >> stephanie: you know why? climate change? >> that's right. >> stephanie: can you give me a pop quiz? >> who says -- [ laughter ] >> stephanie: he said we can't do it alone. we need leadership in the white house, and president barack obama has taken major steps to improve our climate. mitt romney too has a history of tackling climate change but since on the has reversed

course. in the past he has always taken sensible positions on immigration, illegal guns, abortion, and health care but has reversed direction on all of them. and that is supported by michael bloomberg, colin powell. [♪ "world news tonight" theme ♪] >> stephanie: speaking of huge jim -- >> huge! >> stephanie: oh, boy. >> stephanie: i need to put a moratorium on even mentioning him. >> yeah. >> stephanie: he said yesterday was a very very sad day for america, after president obama did not meet his noon deadline. >> yeah because he had nothing else to do. >> stephanie: uh-huh. >> what an idiot. >> stephanie: since he didn't jump through my hoop. all the president had to do was

give simple pages and the charity of 5 million is nowhere. some days those papers will come out, and people will say, you know what, donald trump was right. no, people a thousand years from now will still say donald trump -- ♪ he is an idiot ♪ >> stephanie: this is a very very sad day for the united states. oh, please stop talking. [ buzzer ] >> he could give $5 million to a charity anyway. >> stephanie: yeah. >> just for all true wristic purposes. >> stephanie: red cross, something. >> altruistic. >> stephanie: no stop trying. nineteen minutes after the hour. right back on the "stephanie miller show." >> announcer: highbrow, lowbrow,

unibrow. it's the "stephanie miller show." ♪ fruit just got cooler. fruit on one side, cool on the other. new ice breakers duo. a fruity, cool way to break the ice.

>>and now to my point. that is a whole bunch of bunk! the powerful my steal an election but they cannot steal democracy.

♪ >> announcer: stephfy. ♪ so delicious, got me up in the gym just working on my fitness ♪ ♪ watch what i got ♪ ♪ >> announcer: stephfy -- ♪ check it out ♪ >> stephanie: check it out. it is the "stephanie miller show." welcome do it. twenty-four minutes after the hour. oh, wow, jim, look at this sleazy ad that romney is running

on spanish language stations in florida. >> yeah. >> stephanie: president obama is just like chavez and castro and he also -- i love this -- narrator and to top it off, obama's environmental protection agency sent emails for hispanic heritage month with photos of cheg avara. [ laughter ] >> obama: he is saying he is the candidate of change. let me tell you, wisconsin, we know what change looked like and what the governor is offering sure ain't change. giving more power back to the biggest banks isn't change. leaving millions without health insurance isn't change. another $5 million tax cut that favors the wealthy isn't change.

>> stephanie: no. kevin you are on the "stephanie miller show." >> caller: good morning, stephanie. >> stephanie: uh-huh. >> caller: you have a unique blend of playful sensuality just beyond that ice queen exterior. >> ice queen. >> caller: just when she does the news. >> i'm an ice cube tray. >> stephanie: she is more like an dominatrix. you know you want her to control the news. [ laughter ] >> caller: stephanie you still remain my dream. >> stephanie: thank you. enough about jacki schechner. >> caller: with 9/11 there was no any leading liberal that i can think of that was attacking

bush and so on, because that was a moment that politics should not be involved, and yet when the new jersey governor is doing his job, what do you expect him to do? he is not psycho like the rest of these people. they are really sociopaths. >> stephanie: right. you have got to not just the president in, but get him people that he can work with. >> caller: absolutely. the logical thing would have been so the president got x am done even with that's people blocking him. but instead they say the opposite, hum, since he didn't part the red sea in four years, i'm going to sit on my hands and not do anything.

>> stephanie: exactly. tammy duckworth is up ten points. jim graves is doing very well. i think even the stunning steve king -- >> he is stunned. >> stephanie: yeah that was his main concern -- that people were going to use government money for gucci bags and massages. >> massage parlors. >> stephanie: oh. >> it seems to me he is a little familiar with massage parlors. >> stephanie: republicans eating their own on chris christie chris christie, and that is going to take a while. [ buzzer ] >> stephanie: stephanie! >> stephanie: there were a number of self-serves -- only in passing did he suggest that perhaps the governor was

thinking about his citizens. his primary gripe with christie is he was simply too great for to president obama for his response. isn't it possible to be serious and thankful without having it be about the election. it's incredible. we'll get to more of that in right-wing world, and check in with david bender as we continue on the "stephanie miller show." >> announcer: i got her number off of the men's room stall. 1-800-steph-1-2.

only time you can get to a polling place. make sure that voting is your highest priority on election day. besides, you can always dvr my show. you really cant' dvr the future of the country. to help you make informed decisions, watch current tv's politically direct lineup. only on current tv. so vote and vote smart.

♪ >> my name's -- >> announcer: stephanie miller. >> and i'm ten years old, and in eight years i'll be on alcoholic. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: check that off. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: check that off my list of dreams. all right. right-wing world coming up. quick -- ♪ return to bender ♪ >> stephanie: david bender everybody our, pal. ♪ return to bender ♪ >> this means a lot, doesn't it bender? >> stephanie: bender i just met her. hello, david bender. >> that sounded like the little

girl for bronco bomb-a. >> stephanie: yeah, i feel the same. >> let's go to school for just a second. the school bell has just rung. >> stephanie: okay. >> a no matter what the polls are saying this is all about turn out, turn out, turn out, and it actually matters. we have been talking about only eight or nine states matter in this whole thing? not true anymore. if in fact we don't run up the kind of numbers that mitt romney is running up in texas, and georgia, if everybody doesn't get out and vote then there is a possibility that the electoral college goes to obama and mitt romney can narrowly win the popular vote. can you imagine the oxymoron rush limbaugh will be saying the day after if there is a split.

>> it has never happened in the history of the country! >> stephanie: it hasn't not al gore's world. >> we have to take every weapon out of their arsenal. >> stephanie: yep. >> so vote wherever you live. turnout -- and this is not the time. i get why people feel like they want to vote libertarian, but this isn't the time. >> stephanie: no >> that is really really important. so that's lesson one. lesson two, is the u.s. senate is where the second term president obama is going to be sending those nominees for the supreme court. >> stephanie: yep. >> so places like indiana -- whereby the way joe donnelly is up by eleven points

this morning. tammy baldwin, and help the president make sure he has a senate that will work with him. that's my message. >> stephanie: yeah. it's funny you bring up the supreme court. a romney supreme court -- just that phrase makes the hair on my neck standing up -- could overturn long-standing injury us prudence. it would be the rolling back of everything we have accomplished. >> they started it with citizens united, which was a 5-4 vote. so was bush v gore. >> stephanie: right. >> this is not just an election. it will be a 25-year election because it will shape the court for 25 years. >> stephanie: right. this article i'm reading, talking about literally scaling back the social safety net,

abortion rights they will overturn roe v. wade. >> how about the environment? global warming, climate change all of these things will come up for the court. and there are three branches of government, and the court is a lifetime appointment so people get it, but we have four more days and if the little bronco bomb-a girl can be patient, we'll get it done. >> stephanie: just settle down little girl we'll get you a unicorn that farts glitter. >> exactly. >> stephanie: right. rush limbaugh. >> chris christie had decided to play the role of a greek column for president obama. not just praising obama.

i mean it's -- it's -- let me just put it this way. this is wrong for one man to love another man, but that man love out there is -- it's -- [ inaudible ]. >> does we have any kind of modulating kind of -- >> stephanie: device. >> apparently the golden microphone is just gold -- >> there must have some meters indicating that you are blowing -- >> that was the original audio. >> stephanie: that was a gay joke, all of the people that have died and the president and chris christie are joining together -- okay. and he said chris christie was fat. rush limbaugh. [♪ "world news tonight" theme ♪] >> stephanie: okay. just fill in your own joke. it's friday. i'm too tired. tucker carlson.

>> i would say natural disasters in general favor the incumbent. what do you say that is seamly but effective. this allows obama to play president. and run this incredibly divisive nasty campaign that singles out groups of americans -- >> wait where did the 47% thing come from? that was romney. >> stephanie: okay. all right. hannity on the president -- >> he boards air force one with your tax dollars and beginnings his day in green bay, wisconsin, and then went to las vegas, and his final event is getting underway in boulder, colorado then he plans to stay not in the northeast but in ohio and now sandy's devastation now contrasting with obama's

campaign it is starting to look like obama's katrina. >> he is campaigning on air force one. >> stephanie: it is the first time apparently that the president has ever had a special plane. >> he took three full days off, while romney did his foe storm relief gathering. >> the 13% that matter. >> you are all stupid. >> stephanie: okay. bill o'reilly. >> you think it has anything to do with grievance? because in some african american communities, there is a grievance against whites who aren't sympathetic to their cause, and that may be driving a little bit of it. so there are some african-americans who believe that the reason they are not

prospering as a community is because society hasn't done enough because of rich white guys. >> he was making that up as he went along. >> stephanie: yeah it's really like they are down to seeds and stems. >> give me some ice tea and effort. >> stephanie: who better to be in touch with the concerns of the african american community. >> stephanie: blacks much to my surprise eat food with utensils. >> m-f-er i want ice tae. >> stephanie: yeah, he actually said that. >> who knew? >> stephanie: i didn't know that

until i went on tour with aisha tyler. >> did you get that news busters? >> stephanie: this is a parity for news busters. >> i didn't know blacks ate off of plates until i went on tour. >> stephanie: go ahead. >> look as these people. so poor so angry, so black. [ applause ] >> stephanie: yeah, he said it. >> did i say that? >> stephanie: yeah. aisha tyler say she and her husband do it almost every day at lunchtime. honey i'm so hungry so black. hurry and get me something to eat. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: rush limbaugh. >> election day is tuesday. >> stephanie: oh, thank you. >> early voting is going to

end -- when does it end? tomorrow? we don't know, because we won't early vote, because we don't cheat. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: what? early voting is cheating now. because early voters are voting more for obama. >> and they don't count the votes until election day. >> stephanie: oh, you are just saying that. >> they are saying all of this to pad themselves for a big-time romney loss. [ laughter ] >> yes. >> that's all they are saying all of this for. >> stephanie: and i'm telling you it is going to be a landslide for romney. >> yeah. >> stephanie: sean hannity. >> i have no doubt what tomorrow's job numbers should be, no doubt they'll cook the books. who knows what you will get. they may drop it to 5% just to

make you feel good. and then the next one, oops back up to 10%. >> stephanie: wow, and we added what, jacki 171,000 jobs. >> and unemployment ticked up very, very slightly. >> that's because more people were looking for work. >> stephanie: all right. okay. i'm a little winded from right-wing world. i think i'll be on the fainting couch. forty five minutes after the hour. right back on the "stephanie miller show" >> announcer: you can't turn her off not in the middle of turning her on. it's the "stephanie miller show."

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>> announcer: stephanie miller. ♪ dance, dance, yeah ♪ ♪ dance, dance, yeah ♪ >> stephanie: yeah jacki, shouldn't you be getting ready for your news conference at the top of the hour. why are you texting? why are you texting? it's friday. jacki schechner and i we're going spinning and then we're just going to be the ladies at lunch. >> you are going to kill her. >> i got special shoes. >> you need shoes for spinning? >> yes you do, they need to lock into the bike so you can't run away. i remember the first spinning class i couldn't get out and she refused to help me. >> stephanie: i was in the restaurant going i wonder where jacki is? oh well. we have a couple of hot obama

surrogates including kate walsh, and more -- jim? >> what? >> stephanie: i have a guest quote for you -- [♪ "jeopardy" theme music ♪] -- who said for anybody who voted for obama in 2008 the notion that he has fallen sport seems unfathomable. he has run the gambit from an economic to social and foreign policy. who said that? >> hot actress kate walsh. >> stephanie: might be a good guess, but no [ buzzer ] . jonathan chase. jim who said, it's noteworthy numerous -- he was one of the very few voices determined to see many items through.

anxious about a bailout weary public argued against restructuring the auto industry and on libya, posture or do something, he aloned forced them to draw an option that would prevent disaster. who said that? >> osama bin laden. >> stephanie: very bad guess. [ buzzer ] >> stephanie: who said the decisions are very popular now, like george w. bush presented with a similar option did not strike a similar option. who said that? >> charles nelson riley. [ buzzer ] >> stephanie: no, jonathan chase. i love this article. don't you love it, chris? >> i love it. it's fabulous.

>> it's a fabulous program. >> stephanie: sometimes i feel like i'm losing my mind. i done understand why anybody cannot -- we played that fast talker yesterday asking for a link to it -- >> it's on your facebook page. >> stephanie: i have said this over and over i really truly think he has accomplished an unbelievable amount. and jonathan chase, my future husband says a year ago i wrote about the disillusionment that has shadowed obama supporters. all were seen by many democrats at the time as failures it's true all of them including obama have made errors but this tells us we need a realistic baseline to measure them. roosevelt is the only president

that comes close is lyndon johnson who's successes were overwhelmed by his failures -- skipping forward, the second indictment of obama -- the reason this happened is the republican's leadership in congress grasped early on bring this about by denying his -- [ applause ] >> stephanie: which is why i think it's such amazing timing. what are you going with chris christie? there are no republicans and democrats in a storm, and this is what he has been trying to do since day one. >> and if he had more cooperative republicans they would have gotten more stuff done. >> stephanie: exactly. making obama promise to transcend -- returning republicans to power depends on

the election. this is the case that mitt romney is trying to make right now. oh, i'm the only one that can work across the aisle. obama has proved himself that he is easily the best president on his own terms he overwhelmingly deserves reelection. >> stephanie: thank you. that is posted up on our facebook page. >> it's a good piece. >> stephanie: thank you. betty in chicago you are on the "stephanie miller show." hi, betty. >> caller: yeah could i be the actual mensa member who has actually at tenninged real mensa meetings where fart jokes are being told. [ farting sounds ] >> stephanie: oh, of course.

[ bell chimes ] >> stephanie: unlike obama i believe america can succeed. exactly. let's go to tina in south carolina. hi, tina. >> caller: hey, steph -- i'm -- i'm from south carolina, lesbian and i'm in love with you. >> oh thank you, south carolina lesbian. [♪ magic wand ♪] >> caller: hey. i'm calling because donald trump had put that time line on obama -- >> stephanie: yes. because the president is not dealing with anything else. >> caller: right exactly. he is not real busy right now. and i was wondering why he hasn't answered steven colbert's time line. >> stephanie: which was that -- >> caller: he told him he would give him a million dollars if he could dip his balls -- [ buzzer ] >> stephanie: did you get that.

stephen colbert, that was his challenge to trump -- >> you can play i on basic cable but not on the radio. >> stephanie: yes. debra hi. >> caller: hi. i have been a democrat my whole life, and my husband has been a republican. he is going to vote for obama again this time. and his sister called and tried to sway him, and he held strong but she is a teacher, she is in the union. >> stephanie: oh, boy. let's go to margo in orlando. hi, margo. >> caller: hi, stephanie. how are you doing?

>> stephanie: good go ahead. >> caller: my name is margo, so i'm calling to talk to eve -- i'm jacki. >> stephanie: oh it's for you, eve. >> caller: i'm in florida and they have an amendment 1 where they are trying to repeal the affordable care act. they think that the florida voters can just opt out of it. and what do you think about that constitutional contradiction? >> i don't think that that's actually possible. i would have to take a look at the amendment, i haven't seen it. >> stephanie: eve harrington will take time out from stabbing me in the back -- >> i'll take a look at that. >> stephanie: we'll be right back on the "stephanie miller show" "stephanie miller show." ♪ she is awesome. we'll be right back on the "stephanie miller show."

[♪ theme music ♪] >> stephanie: all right. hour number 3, and jim, we have a double dose of smoking-hot obama surrogates. kate walsh of gray's anataki -- anatomy. >> anataki. and the women of fright night lights support obama, because mitt romney stole their slogan. what it is? >> big eyes big heart no

wallet -- >> stephanie: exactly. removing paper products from football field. no, that's not it. in the meantime here she is jacki schechner. >> mitt romney reacting to the news we added 171,000 new jobs last month by claiming the economy is at a vertical stand still. he said tuesday's choice is the difference between stagnation and prosperity. what is with math amongst businessmen. on the administration side, the numbers are proof we are continuing to heal and the slight up tick is an adjustment that comes from calculations that include more people entering the work force. president obama speaking just moments ago in hilliard ohio.

>> obama: we have made real progress, but we are here today because we know we have more work to do. >> remember when mitt romney went to london and insulted the english? now he's proving he doesn't even have to be in the country to of fen it. romney asked the crowd if we were on the road to looking like greece, or italy, or spain. the under secretary fired back. and he says romney has no knowledge of what is going on in europe, and any comparison is a rookie error from someone who has never ruled before. >> and never been to italy clearly. >> so he is managing to be an equal opportunity offender both here and abroad.

we'll be right back after the break. ♪ our country's future depends on you. to help you make informed decisions, watch current tv's politically direct lineup. only on current tv. take the time to learn about the issues. don't just vote, vote smart.

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[♪ theme music ♪] >> announcer: ladies and gentlemen, it's the "stephanie miller show"! ♪ i'm walking on sunshine woe ho ♪ ♪ i'm walking on sunshine woe ho ♪ ♪ it's time to feel good ♪ ♪ hey all right now ♪ ♪ it's time to feel good ♪ >> and the "stephanie miller show" is brought to you in part by the last open road. where is the last open road in what is the last open road? have you traveled the last open road in go to thelastopenroad.com. >> stephanie: okay. stephaniemiller.com the website. you can email us all there. thank you, jacki schechner by the way for fact checking

something that has been driving me crazy. that mitt romney keeps saying 23 million americans are out of work. it's 12 million. >> isn't he supposed to be the business money math guy. >> stephanie: yeah. >> and the new jobs number is out today, and he is like that means the economy is at a stand still. >> it seems like he counted the people who were never looking for work or in the work force to begin with. >> stephanie: he tells so many lies it is hard to keep fact checking him. >> it is kind of like they have given up because they can't keep up. >> stephanie: yeah. there he is again 23 million. >> it makes me want to chug a

whole bottle of vit-a-imta-vej-amin. >> yeah. >> stephanie: andrea writes steph, awesome show in new york city. [ inaudible ] losing their [ censor bleep ] when they came out. somebody showed me their boobs immediately when i came out. >> did you get a date out of that? >> stephanie: no but it was a nice rack. >> so it wasn't rush limbaugh who flashed you. >> nobody wants to see those man boobs. >> stephanie: oooooooooh. i did my lucy. >> you did. >> stephanie: i'm now an official steph head. this time i approached you and

asked me to sign my green cash meana, and you called me a bitch, and that warmed my heart. i heard of the bed bug outbreak in new york city and a little spray of cedarcide, keeps the bugs away. [ applause ] >> stephanie: i took home some strep throat from new york. and i left my wallet on the plane. i would never say the name of the airplane it was an american airplane. whoever cleaned the plane is apparently trying to get quite a bit of cash off of my credit card in compton. also get what, my social security was in there. that was smart, wasn't it?

[ applause ] >> stephanie: now you know what i have to do because of somebody -- i'm not saying who, somebody on the american line that cleans planes -- >> you really shouldn't carry your social security card -- >> stephanie: yeah i learned that the hard way. i had just gotten my license, and i was eligible by mail and now i have to go to the dmv because they stole my license that i just got renewed. the dmv seventh ring of hell. >> oh, god, i can't stand the dmv. are we talking about the same one down in west hollywood -- >> is there a nice dmv. >> oh, that one is awful. oh, god is that one awful. >> stephanie: yeah, thanks a lot whoever cleaned the plane on an american airlines.

>> yeah, you can't renew online when it has been stolen. >> stephanie: yeah. perfect. ellen in honolulu -- ma ha low to current, first of all. what better way to celebrate the sexy liberal holidays than in hawaii. you know who else comes to hawaii for the holidays? the first family. [ applause ] >> the whole island of oahu becomes cookie sented. >> that's right and coconuts. >> stephanie: just in case you turned in aisha tyler who met president obama said he smells like -- >> cookies and freedom. >> stephanie: yeah, and i just sense that that is true. and speaking of hot obama surrogates we have more coming

up this hour. >> some hot chicks. >> stephanie: mittens on the campaign trail. >> romney: he has got to find something to suggest that it is going to be better over the next four years so we came up with the idea that he is going to create the department of business. i -- i don't think adding a new chair in his cabinet will help add millions of jobs on main street. >> stephanie: well, we just had 171,000 just this month. >> so there's that. >> stephanie: so -- >> so that happened. >> stephanie: okay. >> yeah, and he is still laughing about climate change. >> stephanie: hah, hah hah. when did that happen? irene in baltimore. how are you? >> caller: good. i'm calling about the bipartisanship. obama has been reaching across the aisle every sense he has

been in office. [ inaudible ] but refused to vote for them. >> stephanie: yeah, and by the way, the president has put on an actual display of bipartisanship which is what he has been trying to do. mittens on the campaign trail. >> romney: i know the obama folks are chanting four more years, but our chant is this five more days. [ cheers and applause ] >> stephanie: five more days until you lose. [ wah wah ] >> stephanie: that's right mittens. ann romney meanwhile -- >> stop it. >> women have been coming up to me and saying please help. women have been coming to me saying we're hurting, all of the voices of the americans that are out there that need help and the only thing i can tell them is that help is on the way. >> ann romney: stop it. >> yeah, bush's slogan. we don't need anymore help like

that thanks. >> stephanie: exactly. he is a used idea salesman i'm telling you. speaking of bush jim this is exciting. the bush libarry. he is going to be speaking in the cayman islands. this is very exciting news a 16-acre park at the up coming george w. bush presidential center will recreate a texas prairie. and all of that brush he used to pretend he was clearing to prove he is rancher and all. and remember the switch grass he

used to talk about. ♪ switch grass, switch switch grass ♪ >> i can't believe i still have that in there. >> stephanie: i know. it will also house bush's policy institute. [ laughter ] >> with a shack outside of la grange. >> stephanie: it will feature an interpretation of the rose garden. remember, that's where she used to chain smoke and curse her life. prairie restoration is important to laura bush and her husband. the bush center -- here is the punch line it is aiming to get the highest level of certification from the green building council. [♪ circus music ♪] >> stephanie: because he has always been so green.

>> i wonder if they'll have a election of -- >> human animal hybrids. >> where all of these spent fuel rods are going because they couldn't use -- >> stephanie: switch grass. ♪ switch grass ♪ >> no, where they were going to store all of the nuclear fuel rods -- i can't remember the name. damn. >> stephanie: all right. nobody help me. >> announcer: there is a tea party in her pants, and you are invited. call now 1-800-steph-1-2.